elevator love letter
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Monday, December 31, 2007
- from IF @ 11:15 AM Alright as promised, I'll do an entry today. 2007. Two-0h-oh-seven. Wow it has passed by so quickly that sometimes I find it hard to grasp that I'll be in JC (or poly ie IF I change my mind) next year. Looking back at 2007, I doubt I will change anything to make it any better because it was already the best year in my life I have lived so far. I know that sounds a tad cliché but I think I really mean it this time. I still remember the first day of school as a Sec 4 student. Initially, I didn't feel any difference because hey it was just another year to mug your ass off only this tine for the big and important O's. I wasn't really excited to be back in school but lets just say I was just glad to be back in familiar surroundings especially after the emotional roller coaster ride in late November and December, post Sabah period to be more specific. Heck I was more than happy to be in my comfort zone even if that means more stress or mugging whatsoever. The months came and went. My definitions of certain things began to change and started to view things quite differently. To put it quite simply, I think I grew more and more cynical. Not that it altered my whole persona, I was still nice.. (: It was probably the events which took place in 2007 which changed that part of me and might also have influenced me in some of the decisions I made. I don't regret any decisions I made for the past year. Yes it may have some downsides but if it was for my own good then yeah I'll do it. Oh and I also polished my masking skills if you know what I mean. Heh. I don't think I could have made it through this year without the support from those around me. Friends, family and well teachers. No no not exaggeration for this one either because I believe everyone influenced me to be what I am today. Sure some played a bigger role but hey I did say everyone played a role right. Haha. But in all seriousness, I think I am what I am today due to these people who has sailed through this year with me. I really appreciate it. And it totally doesn't matter whether you screwed/played me out in the end because what matters most is you taught me something and that, is something to be proud about. Mmm. So here's to 2007, now let 2008 come in because I'm ready (: now that we're done; Sunday, December 30, 2007 - from IF @ 7:42 PM Iqbal Firdaus is happy and only he knows why! (: I think I'll update tomorrow instead to tie in with the whole crossing over to the new year thing. Wednesday, December 26, 2007 - from IF @ 8:47 PM Happy Boxing Day! :D Well technically its not Mike Tyson or Muhammad Ali kind of boxing. Being the geek that I am, I went to consult Wiki and found out that Boxing Day is a traditional celebration, dating back to the Middle Ages, and consisted of the practice of giving out gifts to employees, the poor, or to people in a lower social class. Ahh interesting trivia, no? Anyway, I went to catch two movies namely National Treasure 2 and I Am Legend. Both movies are awesome although I'm still quite partial to Stardust and not budging from naming it the Best Movie I have watched in 2007 but honestly NT2 and Legend are good movies.  Nicholas Cage was awesome in this one. I liked how this movie is kind of educational as well. American Civil War, assassination of Abraham Lincoln and the urban legend of the President's Secret Book. Great stuff la. It was fun watching Ben Gates especially his scene at the Buckingham Palace. Haha. Purely hilarious. I also loved the part when they went to Paris to check out the Statue of Liberty. Yes apparently there is a sister statue in Paris and several others in many parts of the world. Overall it was an exciting and a fun movie to watch.  Then on Boxing Day, which was today, I went to watch I Am Legend. Okay I went into the cinema knowing nothing about the plot. But then again, I do that for every movie I have watched so far. Like Stardust for example. I just step cool and pretended to know the movie and everything but when Calvin asked me at the the start of the movie, my masquerade was discovered but hey it paid off in the end. Anyway I Am Legend stars one of my favourite actors, Will Smith. I was expecting quite a lot and heck I got more than I wanted. I Am Legend basically revolves around Robert Neville being the only sole survivor in New York City. In a way it was strange to see NYC so empty because it earned the nickname 'The City That Never Sleeps' for a reason right? There are some amazing sequences in the film and I find that the mutants were scary at first in the way that they just popped out so suddenly. Haha. I swear someone in the cinema screamed during one of the mutants just appeared. I think it was a guy. It was worth watching and if you are planning to watch it, be prepared. - Alright I just got my letter from SA's Student Council and I must say it was quite an amusing read. I also went to check my Orientation Group with Calvin at SA today and I saw alot of familiar names on the list. Apparently no SJI guys or anyone I know is in my OG but it is kind of a good thing in a way I guess. Meet new people, mingle around. Haha. In 5 more days, it is gonna be a new playing field and in about 4 more days 2008 will chime in. I can't deny I am excited but 2007 passed by so fast that it is kinda scary. But I shall emo in some other entry. Adieu. hello I'm sine square and you are cosine square, and together we are one!; Thursday, December 20, 2007 - from IF @ 9:48 PM Today is Hari Raya Hajji. Things were rather different this year. What did I tell ya? Things are shaking up here. Anyway. I had to wake up insanely early to go for prayers and I really should think twice before eating Nasi Briyani at 2 plus in the morning and sleep immediately after that. Crazy, I know. Tsk. I woke up at around 7 in a groggy state. Anyway cousins. I went out with my other 5 cousins yesterday. 4 of whom are of my age. Yeah the family was so happy when they had four new additions to the brood that year. Haha. We played pool and I think I lost quite badly. It simply wasn't my day. Dinnered then homed because I had to be home by Maghrib. Dangz. I missed the exciting part. Neh mind. There'll be another time, I hope. It was enjoyable nonetheless. - I don't know what to feel sometimes. I thought I had it. I thought I had things under control but apparently not. Things are as unpredictable as they can get. You may work so hard just to get that promotion but your dreams are not always realised. Another guy who is heavily favoured by the employer got it instead. Sure you admit he's good and you dare say you and him are on equal grounds but then you review the reason behind the results and it just bites you. Favouritism. Like Elitism, it may be necessary evil. Special preference over this one over another. It was one tough lesson to swallow. Some people are just more preferred than others. And that is just it. I can't argue with that and I can't change that and I'm not attempting it either because it will be wrong and unethical. Sure I knew in my deepest of heart that I did everything within my capacity to.. well yeah. But then again that is just the mind merely consoling my spirit. My spirit was broken bad and it needed all the consoling it could get. I was really afraid that I would bore my friends with my constant whining. Admit it. I know I will eventually. So I decided to suture myself up. It worked. Perfectly. Much to my delight. Some things are just better left unsaid and I know my piece is definitely better left unsaid. So yes. At least now we know who loves who most yeah? Signing off. Tuesday, December 18, 2007 - from IF @ 10:51 PM Sorry for the sudden outbreak of hysteria in the entry before. It was really unexpected and I had to let it out and since screaming out loud at 12 something at night might wake up the neighbours, blogging was the best option. Haha. Anyway aside from the shocking results, things are really starting to shake up here. Changes, changes, changes. I used to hate them. New environments especially. I'm sure some of you may recall the stunts I pulled back in the Sec 1 days. If I'm not wrong, I performed the same stunts in Primary 1. Haha. Lets just say, I despised new environments back them and will act up however I liked. Now with the PAE just around the corner and that meaning a new environment altogether, I just hope I fit in and go with the flow and not against it. Well I think I'm more ready now anyway. It is just a matter of how one plays the game. On a much lighter note. OMG. The Mosaiac Music Festival next year is gonna rock! Alright a tad exaggeration only two/three days of it are gonna rock. I'm marking those days on my calendar and making it as free as air. Ahhh! Already excited. I heard there are a number of good artistes coming down to the Tiny Red Dot. Haha. Its just awesome and made my morning. :D Mmm. I shall end this entry with a quote. " hazmmmm says : ZAC EFRON IS A HOTTIE " Tsk. I wonder if that will bode well with your many admirers Hazm (: Signing off. Monday, December 17, 2007 - from IF @ 12:13 AM OMG OMG OMG! HADY MIRZA WON ASIAN IDOL! OMG I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT! BUT OMG WELL DONE HADY! Sunday, December 16, 2007 - from IF @ 11:40 PM All boxed up and way behind the closet it will stay (: Ahh the 2007 Graduation Song is playing (its Do I Make You Proud la -.-) on tv. Kinda miss 436 already.. Anyway I shall blog about the Kumz Club thing once I receive/kope the pictures. For now, I'm tired and sleepy and I think I want to turn in early tonight. Goodnight! Thursday, December 13, 2007 - from IF @ 1:17 AM I was browsing though my archive just now and I am just blown away at how much ' Hrmm sometimes you have to ask yourself whether what you're doing is actually worth it. You need to think long and hard cause this kind of questions are really tricky. Lets use an analogy. Say you like this shirt but this shirt has already worked its charm on another customer and he already bought it and that was the last one. You really really love that shirt to bits and pieces. Every single strand of it. So you decided to place an order. You come back home contented and certain that that shirt will come to you one day. You waited and waited. Once in awhile, you will receive calls telling you that your shirt has arrived but everytime you went back to the shop something bad just had to happen. It got lost in the airport, the colour of the shirt has faded, the owner of the shop wanted to keep it as a present for his son and other whatnots. But you still kept on waiting, just waiting. Yeah you can get other nice shirts which will fit you just right but you simply love that shirt that you can't let it go. ( Its sounding abit like a fetish but like I said this is an IF story ) How long are you willing to wait? And if so, will it be all worth it in the end? And how long are you gonna keep me waiting? You see, I believe in what is meant to be yours, will be yours. Yeah sometimes it seems to take forever but you have to move on. If that shirt is taking forever, don't you think you ought to get another nice shirt to wear? You have the money. So pick a shirt. (: ' If you're not blown away, I know I am. Its just.. wow. I was so pandai ah. Well besides the reasons for the shirt not being available ( I found the stated reasons to be really lame and tak masuk akal langsung ) and the exaggeration of the whole situation is really far fetched. But nonetheless (: Oh. AND please do this thing here.  http://www.freerice.com So yes. If you are feeling bored or have absolutely nothing to do, do this. Not only will it help to end world hunger, it can also help you in your vocabulary. Its alright if you get it wrong. Just keep trying. It will help. Wednesday, December 12, 2007 - from IF @ 2:38 AM So what inspired me for this new colour scheme you might ask? Simple. Two words, Regina. Spektor. FIDELITY. Always one foot on the ground; Saturday, December 08, 2007 - from IF @ 5:53 PM Okay I've been told to do a Anyway. Camera Obscura. Yeah their history is really boring but their music absolutely rocks. If you're a total metal head or a rocker, then don't bother. But if you are sad and you're looking for music to suit your mood then yes, Camera Obscura is the music for you. Then of course you'll get hooked on it and run the risk of getting addicted to sad stuff. Though I'm pretty sure you'll get out of it because.. No one can actually be sad for one whole year for reasons maybe pertaining to clinging onto something of the past for example. Tsk. Something happy will surely happen and if you're still sad after that then I guess you really are attracted to sadness. Camera Obscura!  -Onto serious stuff, lets talk about dreams. Mainly because I've been having really weird and unwanted dreams of late. 5 days in a row to be specific. Keyword; Unwanted. So I went to Wiki 'Dreams' and it returned fascinating results to say the least. I bet you didn't know that it is believed that in men's dreams 70 percent of the characters are other men, while a female's dreams contain an equal number of men and women. Haha. Anyway. I rarely have dreams. Serious. Its normally a black screen and I will wake up the next day and proceed with life as per usual but not of late though because I suddenly experienced a barrage of dreams at night. Amazing of some sort but they are irritating to an extent. Blame it on the content. For example, there was once I had this dream whereby the duration given to do the O' Level Additional Math Paper (yes the whole paper!) was only 10 minutes. Like wth right? So in the end everyone in the hall cried/teared because no one could finish the entire paper. Stupid, yes and very irritating because it felt real. So yeah the dreams I've been having are some sort like that but just more unwanted than ever. It really tells what my subconscious mind wants. I've been silencing it the whole day but it will just scream out to me in my dreams at night and its been frustrating because I will wake up in the morning and convince it but it will happen all over again like a cycle. And. It is the same type of dreams.. Then I decided to take a Colorgenics test and it has this to say, You seem to be trying to sweep aside the situations (and maybe the people) that you feel are standing in your way. You are impulsive and apt to follow these impulses seeking to be involved in special or exciting happenings. In this way you hope to deaden the intensity of your conflicts, but your impulsive behaviour is leading you to take some unnecessary risks. Back down a little and remember 'more haste - less speed'. You are in need of rest, some peace and quiet. You feel the need to be close to that someone special, that someone who can give you that special consideration and unquestioning affection that you seek. If you don't find that 'special someone' and resolve your problems very soon, you are liable to become extremely introverted and cut yourself off from society. You give the impression that you are a self-sufficient individual, pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain or pleasure. But this is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional person, one that may make hasty decisions and perhaps repent at leisure. It is time now perhaps to break the bond of detachment and become the real 'you' - the you that you would like to be. You are experiencing more than your fair share of stress following an acute disappointment. This may be the result of subconscious conflict between hope and necessity. The tension that you are experiencing following your unfulfilled hopes have given rise to anxious uncertainty. You have no doubt that things could get better in the future and so you refuse to make the necessary essential decisions. This conflict between hope and necessity is creating considerable pressure. Instead of resolving this by facing up to making the essential decisions, you are likely to vacillate and concern yourself with trivialities of little consequence. Whatever you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong and you are now quite convinced that there is little point of formulating new objectives and it is this belief that has resulted in the stress and anxiety. You would like to be able to communicate with other people who think as you do. At this time there seems to be no-one on the horizon nor is there any prospect of meeting anyone in the immediate future. But it must be said that you are really a 'trier' and indications are that you will, as indeed you have in the past, 'bounce back'. Paragraph 3 is by far the truest of the lot. And the last line too. I will bounce back and what goes around, comes around. Au Revoir (Simone [omg they rock too!]) Wednesday, December 05, 2007 - from IF @ 11:05 PM The Bird And The Bee - How Deep Is Your Love Her voice is just.. captivating. It has this tone about it which I really like. But then again, it might not really appeal to you. Ah well. Different people, different tastes. But pardon for the rather sucky sound quality if you decide to watch. As you can see later, the speaker was not.. uh good. Yea. Today was a really wet day. It was also the day I decided to head back to school to run around good ol' Mount Rosie. Of course there were two other twits who decided to do the same, namely Syam and Casey. Well they were the ones who thought of it first. Haha. Before the run I quipped, 'Ey its gonna rain. We need to run fast.' To which, Syam laughed. For no reason. -.- And so we ran. It was drizzling quite heavily (so technically, yes, raining lol) already once we reached ACS (Barker Road). After the run, we sat down at the school canteen and ate our lunch promptly. The rain subsided already by then. So there we were cracking jokes at intervals and basically having fun until the sky decided to crack its own joke. A loud, explosive, resounding noise produced by the explosive expansion of air heated by a lightning discharge called thunder boomed in the air. Then of course, without a doubt it rained. Heavily. Alas, none of us brought umbrellas (ella, ella, eh eh!!) and the sky was raining on us in torrents. We had no where to go but to stay indoors. Drenched we will be if we try walking in the rain. So that began our, not 1, not 2, not 3 but SEVEN. Seven-hour 'Camp' in school. It was basically another school day just without lessons and homework. I have no idea how we waited for 7 hours but we really did. It was hardly productive as all we did were talking, walking and talking. Well if you consider bonding to be productive then alright but other than that, nothing. Hahaha. But it was fun nonetheless. The run was really good too. I, myself, was quite surprised that my stamina has not depleted that much after not running for, what, one week or so? Yeah. A really good run I must say.
Oh the dinner was great too. Haha. Alrighty. I have Band of Brothers to complete and Heroes (BOTH seasons!!) is so yesterday. Monday, December 03, 2007 - from IF @ 12:29 AM Its a nuclear show, and the stars are gone Elevator, take me home I dreamed I was dying; as I so often do And when I awoke I was sure it was true I ran to the window; threw my head to the sky And said whoever is up there,please don't let me die. I disappoint you, I can see through your perfect smile. Play me a sad song 'Cause that’s what I want to hear I want you to make me cry I want to remember the places that we left Lost to the mists of time. I won’t be seeing you for a long while I hope it’s not as long as a country mile I feel lost. And you may not think that I care for you Well, you know down inside I really do And its me you need to show. Guess who ran away with the milkman. Going, going, gone. -
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